Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Twas the night before Christmas and the nurse is at Work

Twas the night before Christmas and the nurse is at work
Many a creature is stirring, including a jerk.
All the IV’s are hung by their poles with care
In hopes that 7am would soon be there.
The patients are snuggled all safe in their beds
While drug induced dreams dance in their heads.
My fellow nurses and I who are no longer in caps
Are Just sitting down at the station to rap
When out of room seven arose such a clatter
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter
Away to the bedside I flew in a flash
Where I grabbed the puke bucket from the cabinet stash
The light I turned on, in order to know
Exactly what the bucket contained and would show
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a disgusting recycled bucket of beer
Lifting my leg to hit the call bell with a kick
My fellow nurse came to assist quick as a lick
We changed him and flushed the bucket of shame
And he whistled and shouted “All hale the dames”
“They are the queens of the ER~…maybe one is a Vixen”
“Lets order some pizza! and we can call it a Mix in”
“We’ll sit on floor or lean on the wall”
“or maybe Ill just lie down in the hall”
We guided the poet who was on such a high
Back to his bed so sleep could apply
Within 5 seconds he was snoring anew
His monitor showing vitals not to warrant Code Blue
And then in a twinkling we heard something aloof
It was only the tech Ben, always being a goof.
As I let out a laugh and was turning around
He hit me with a spit ball and it fell to the ground
The patient in room seven was again up and on one foot
And this time his gown was all wet and stained with “soot”
A bundle of sheets flung over his back
He looked like street walker complete with a sack
His eyes how they twinkled, his mood was so merry
His cheeks were like roses, and his nose like a cherry
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a bow
And the beard on his chin was no longer white as snow
The spittle of puke held tight to his teeth
And the bed pan he held on his head like a wreath
He had a thin face but a big round belly
That now shook with a laugh like a bowl full of jelly
He was nothing like a plump jolly old elf
And we laughed when we saw him in spites of ourselves
A wink of eye and twist of his head
He turned around, showed us his butt…and went back to bed
He spoke not a word but flashed us a smirk
Even I had to say he was no longer a jerk
And putting his finger up inside his nose
Then giving a nod he declared, “this blows”
We moved back to our seats and sat down with a whistle
His room looked as if it was hit with a missle.
But all together we laughed and said, while keeping the patient in sight
Merry Christmas to all…and to all a good night.